Spring Bucket List

1. Make an eye appointment
2. Sleep with the windows open
3. Clean and fill the birdfeeder
4. Walk on the beach
5. Pack away coats and electric blanket
6. Buy a new piece of summer clothing
7. Send happy mail to Alabama
8. Drive with the windows down
9. Get a pedicure
10. Drink iced coffee
11. Buy a tomato plant
12. Buy fresh flowers
13. Take the triplets on a picnic
14. Write thank-you notes to my coaches
15. Make a new curtain for my bed
16. Celebrate Star Wars Day
17. Put the awning up
18. Take Abigail for ice cream
19. Watch a sunset
20. Buy an essential oils diffuser

Pierced

I always said I wouldn't - I've been squeamish about needles or piercings or anything similar since I was a teenager - but I found I've lost a lot of my fears in the last few years. I've worn clips for years and I've always loved them. It seemed like a good decision. 

The downside to being almost thirty before you pierce your ears is that you inevitably end up feeling like a child. It didn't help that I went with Lucy and Addy lol! ;) (Although it's totally a special memory that will be fun to tell them in the years to come - that we all got our ears done together.)

Zachary Getting Married

I don't have any pictures from the wedding because I spent every last second of it catching up with friends I hadn't seen in way, way too long, eating delicious food,  and even doing some dancing. (And wanting to kill Drew.  Nothing new there.)

But a few days before the wedding, Maggie and I got to meet up with Matt and Jess for lunch at BTB. I hadn't seen them for almost a year, and getting to catch up was indescribably lovely. I forget - I remember in my head but forget in my heart - how much I love these people. These wonderful, amazing, beautiful people that God has given me.

(Also, they're expecting in August and I am OVER THE MOON overjoyed! :) )

"Spring"

You feel you'll perish long before it arrives
but then
there it is at last!
Suddenly, everything resolves,
like the denouement of a good novel
and you're left to contemplate
what you might have done differently
except that you never dreamed Spring was so near,
redemption so close.

Missing Them

It'll be two weeks tomorrow since Oliver passed, two weeks on Tuesday since Zinnia died.

And I'm been surprised - really surprised,  actually - at how sad I still am.

Actually, I'm more surprised at the sense of loss that keeps hitting me at odd times, and how fresh it feels - the intense longing for the sensory experience of them. I'll be driving down the road when I suddenly miss watching Zinnia hop across the carpet, miss feeling her tail wrapped around my finger. I want to be able to sit next to Oliver one last time and bury my fingers in his thick fur. I miss his tilted head and I miss his earthy dog smell.

It seems silly that I still find myself crying suddenly at inopportune times, hissing "Get a grip!" to myself in the car while I frantically scrub tears off my face so I can go nanny or coach or not look like a lunatic at the bank.

I'm glad they're at peace. I am. They were both miserable and now they're not and there's relief in that. But I would give up a lot just to have ten minutes with them, to be able to touch, feel, and smell them again.