Lately

Cooking/eating: Chili. Sloppy joes. Chinese food takeout to celebrate the end of a long week. A little chocolate in honor of Easter. ;) Pork and roasted veggies.

Thinking about: Summer staffing. How I want to rearrange my life this fall. Repainting the trailer inside and out. Tiny houses. Converting a cargo trailer into a tiny.

Excited about: Only seven weeks left to our school year! Hosting a bonfire party. One last day of Spring Break. Summer break being just around the corner.

Watching: The eleventh season of Bones, all in one go after I was flattened by a horrific migraine and spent most of 48 hours in dark, quiet spaces. Amelie - I haven't seen it since college! An episode of Lost with Ruth to celebrate her passing her Lifeguard course.

Reading: Pride and Prejudice (I think it's safe to say I've now given Jane Austen a fair shot and I'm just not a fan). I finished "As Good As Gone" and I LOVED IT. Almost as good as "The Girl On The Train." I have a weird mix of classics and modern thrillers loaded up right now, and I have a little less than seven weeks to plow through them before June first and my annual reread of Atlas Shrugged.

Every Day

Eating: Asian turkey lettuce wrap filling (the last of the batch I put in the freezer for lunches - I need to make another, it was amazing); bean and bacon soup (and burritos, using it as a filling); lots of kale and eggs; I have a pork tenderloin I need to cook, probably Friday.

Learning: Spanish (via Duolingo).

Succeeding at: keeping the house cleanish; teaching butterfly.

Failing at: returning emails.

Reading: The Montessori At Home Guide (not as practical as I'd expected, but I was pleasantly surprised to learn that some concepts I'm a huge proponent of are montessori); Homeschooling Methods (so far hugely boring and also not as practical as I'd hoped).

Listening to: The Phantom of The Opera by Gaston Leroux (if possible, Raoul is even more of a simpering idiot than in the musical); Everything We Keep by Kerry Lonsdale; started As Good As Gone by Amy Gentry. (Also The Boxcar Children Ice Cream Sundae Mystery and Mrs Piggle Wiggle's Magic wjth the kids. But those don't count ;))

Adventuring: planting a garden (garlic, potatoes, spinach, fennel, red and orange peppers, carrots, tomatoes, cabbage, and broccoli); sitting by the wharf with coffee while the girls walk around in between jobs; sleeping wjth the windows open and being aware of it even while I slept, the sheer sensory joy of night breezes, moonlight, and insects.

Everyday magic: opening the door to put out the trash one night and looking up just in time to catch a brilliant shooting star. Spring coming (thank God!). Picking up Zephyr and feeling him snuggle into my arms. :)

This Week

Reading: "Every Day Is A Holiday" - finished at last! Started "Common Prayer: A Liturgy For Ordinary Radicals" and I'm looking forward to it.

Listening to: "The Fellowship Of The Ring" and LOVING it. I think I might do "The Hobbit" next. Or possibly go another round with CS Lewis and "The Silver Chair." I need something soul-soothing.

Accomplishing: A clean house and the grocery shopping completed; cleaned out the car; washed some towels; rewrote the roster and answered emails; filled the propane tanks.  Basically nothing  except the everyday chores that seem a hundred times harder when you've been wiped out by a stomach bug. :/

Excited about: Celebrating Valentine's Day with the kids on Tuesday (we're having a "class party" which shall consist of delivering homemade valentines to the mailboxes we painted last week, eating turkey pot pie at their request (lol), making muddy buddies, and a special movie (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)).

Thinking about: too tired to think.

Lately

Thankful for: Sunshine! Heat in the house and food in the fridge. The feel of yarn in my fingers. Visible progress (especially in my youngest advanced swimmer). A little bit of breathing room in my schedule that has made life a lot more fun.

Looking forward to: A night at the theater tomorrow with Mags and Cris. Getting the house clean again this weekend. Pool time with my babies this Sunday. Sleeping in on Saturday. ;) The days getting longer!

Diffusing: My new favorite night time blend - black pepper oil, bergamot, and ravensara. Peppermint in my car diffuser when I'm tired. Lemongrass at work when I need a boost.

Celebrating: Groundhog Day - halfway through winter! (I might survive after all!)

Biggest problem right now: serious lack of patience for stupidity.  :/

Lately

Reading: finished "Before I Fall" (liked it). Began "Every Day Is A Holiday". Still working on "The Art of Work" even though I'm less and less enthused about it.

Listening to: Kenny Loggins' "Pooh Corner" albums (childhood memories!). Lots of worship music during a week where I've often had a sore heart, and had to remind myself that God is good even when His people aren't.

Bought: new shoes (dearly needed - my other pair is really worn). A pair of shorts on clearance. Because summer must come eventually.

Creating: a crocheted coffee sleeve, and now a crocheted tea set. I had the weirdest compulsion to buy yarn early this week, which was odd since I had no project in mind, and as soon as I had I found a good use for it. :)

Happy about: David Tennant telling us that everything will be okay. ( https://m.youtube.com/watch?sns&v=2uQFfpe6C18)

Thinking about: something I wrote earlier this week, that my favorite things in my life now have their roots deep in hard times where it felt like no good would ever come. This tiny house I adore, my jobs that I love, so many people, so many lessons that have helped make me who I am... they all directly connect to dark moments.  I have hope that this next few years will be the same.

This Week

- Celebrating my dad's birthday (I gave him "The Girl On The Train" because it was easily my favorite book of 2016, and I can't wait to see what he thinks). Dinner another night with my extended family at my grandparent's house. I have spent so much time with my loved ones in the last few weeks, and it's been wonderful.

- I finished "The Last Battle" and now I'm listening to "The Killing Season" by Alex French, narrated by David Drummond. Still working on "The Art of Work."

- Eating cinnamon pecans that Amy bought and shared and I loved so much I went and bought my own bag; Indian butter chicken (one of the meals I made and froze during my holiday cooking spree); NOT drinking the Aquafina brand seltzer water I bought because it was on sale and only later realized it had sugar added - so mad at this perversion of seltzer water!

- Taking these past couple days to focus on being in the moment with the kids, and getting to spend lots of time in snuggling and playing and making art and reading out loud. We started Pippi Longstocking and they seem to like it. Also played three rounds of the new educational "Wash My Underpants" game I bought at Target (who names these things?!).

- Still drinking my kombucha and green juice and taking apple cider vinegar and feeling good. I bought a new kind of vegan protein powder to start using again. Also coconut oil tablets to add to my routine (but I also need to buy the real thing).

- I did an excellent job of keeping the house clean this week. :) And I managed to clean out, wipe down, and vacuum the car this week too! I cleaned the boy's cages tonight,  so my housekeeping chores are done for the weekend!

Life, Lately

Accomplishing: a good cleaning/organizing/decluttering from one end of the trailer to the next, every square inch, including storage compartments (it took a little over eight hours as opposed to the weeks it took me this summer when I got rid of 40% of my belongings. Took two trash bags to the thrift store, which I thought was pretty decent). Did a ton of cooking and put away a freezer full of meals for easy to grab lunches - barbecue chicken with potatoes, shredded plain chicken, ham and beans, ham soup, quinoa, and Indian butter chicken. Hung my magnetic knife rack (what, six months after I bought it?). Went to Ikea to buy a sofa after mine broke last month, wasn't impressed with the one I'd picked out online, and went home empty handed to keep saving for a (much more expensive) one I fell in love with. Need to accomplish some laundry before I run out of clothes. Still working on a new budget for this year. Working on skits for Cris.

Eating/drinking: kombucha, apple cider vinegar, green juice (and starting to feel really good, better than I've felt in MONTHS). Bought some bone broth that I'll start drinking tomorrow (it's supposed to be amazing for healing your gut!). A Cascara latte from Starbucks (I liked it, but then I've always liked fruity coffees). Hot chocolate with marshmallows instead of my usual coffee. Chocolate tomatoes I brought home from Wegmans (oh, Wegmans, how I love thee!). Sushi with Mags and Cris.

Diffusing: my new favorite blend - bergamot, black pepper, and orange. I put away the pine oil for next year. I added a few drops of peppermint oil to my facial moisturizer and my dry flaky skin has disappeared.

Reading/listening/Watching: The Last Battle by CS Lewis, read by Patrick Stewart (and chosen mostly for that reason). The Art of Work by Jeff Goins. The Librarians series that I liked so much,  I pre-ordered the newest season. ;)

Enjoying: sleeping in and taking naps (don't hate me). Spending time with siblings when they were home from college, especially my future brother in law. Lots of downtime to putter and accomplish and think. Being snowed in with no place I have to go. Swims at the local pool with Ruth, who never ceases to surprise me. :)

Looking forward to: spring (already). The triplets and M coming home this week (I miss my kiddos!). Swim starting up again. Getting back into the normal routine of life.

Five Quick Takes

1) At the start of the season,  I downloaded the Meet Mobile app. So now I can sit at home and watch my kids' times pop up even when they're there and I'm at home coughing up my lungs. So very cool!

2) I switched practice groups this week (I'll be working more with the middle group of swimmers) and loved it. Tons of new stuff going on that I'd never seem before, and I walked away with lots of ideas I wanted to steal or modify for my kids. I told the coach I was working under to "teach me everything" and she took me seriously and let me ask a thousand questions without ever getting annoyed. ;) But none of that made me as happy as the fact that the next day I got mobbed by younger kids wanting to know why I'd crossed the deck, and was I coming back? I've had some serious doubts about my role here in general, and it was reassuring to feel missed.

3) Also - I found out this week (to my great surprise!) that getting pulled to work with me is considered a plus. Who knew?!

4) Lastly, I've been thinking lately how I've shed so many labels in the last few years. Baptist. Republican. "Biblical patriarchy." I've come to think that labels on peoppe are mostly about giving you the ability to define "us" versus "them". When you give them up, suddenly you're forced to evaluate people as the complex,  nuanced creatures they are. It's made me a better person,  and I'm grateful.

A Stream of Consciousness

Finishing the bathroom remodel. I should have done this years ago - it's amazing how transformative a little paint and a few updates can be! The biggest project (installing the new high profile toilet) will have to get done next weekend, but it looks amazing. Also - washing out my crockpot and wondering at how easy it is now, with the new high faucet, when it used to be such a pain.

(With all the home improvement projects I've been doing lately, I am forced to contemplate: do I want new flooring? I have some in mind, I think I might buy a few tiles and lay them out to see how I feel.)

Sitting down to pay all the bills yesterday, and being struck suddenly with an overwhelming sense of gratefulness. Not only because I am employed and able to pay bills, but that I am able to pay those bills doing work I love. That's precious.

Having lunch with someone who loves me, and walking around for the next few days feeling deeply loved and thus unstoppable. Thinking about the nature of faith, and how sometimes God uses others around us to speak Truth into our lives.

Not reading much of Atlas shrugged. Gotta get back to that.

Experimenting with going gluten free (some success and some failures). Discovering strawberry seltzer water (yum!). Making veggie pizza rounds (slices of zucchini topped with tomato sauce, thin slices of Roma tomato, pepperoni, and cheddar cheese) and falling into a pan of them - so, sooo good! Finding spiraling veggies at the grocery store (I don't want to own a spiralizer, but I want to be able to buy them every once in awhile).

Thinking my tiny garden was NEVER going to do anything, and then the next day it bloomed.

Explaining how pickles are made to Mason and the triplets.

Getting a stack of antique books and reveling in them - the smell, the feel, the type. (I kept one that I fell in love with and will pass the rest on to a friend with similar appreciation!)

Playing with Zephyr, and snuggling Zipper. I love their tiny faces and paws. Zipper is getting much better at being picked up (he's always liked being held, but always been skittish about getting lifted). I love seeing Zeph hang out in his hammock. :)

Thinking about our trip to the beach, and anticipating a fresh dose of inspiration. Making plans and writing lessons for next year. Spending Tuesdays and Thursdays cheering for Ruth at swim meets. Learning how to be a timer with Cris (and only screwing it up once!).  Putting cream in my coffee and needing to stop and watch as it melds (my version of "stop and smell the roses"). Pricing out a new phone (and deciding I'll wait til Christmas sales). Looking at tons of tiny houses and getting excited because my floor plan is staying pretty consistent - I think I'm ready to get some blueprints made and some price quotes.

Lately

I'm...

- getting stuff done. Painting the kitchen backsplash orange (love it! Though not sure this will be the final end. Still contemplating tile). Painting the bathroom (finally!) and all the prep work that entails - putty, sanding, cleaning. Decluttering in a MAJOR way. Buying a new kitchen light after Allen told me he'd install it for me, only to realize midtown that it was incompatible (bah). Installing a reading light in my sleeping compartment (whee!). Cleaning EVERYTHING.

- watching: the fifth season of Castle. I was baffled because I didn't remember any of the episodes, until I checked the year and realized that the fifth season was released the same month I ruptured my eardrums (coming up on three years this September) and I watched it while dozing in and out and on pain meds. Crazy.

- enjoying: the positive energy around the pool this week :). Four days in a row that I got to sleep in (!!! I refuse to be guilted about it). Grilling (all by myself, because I-am-woman-hear-me-roar). Getting a rare cool, overcast day to leave the windows open and listen to the birds. Ice cream (I'm not normally a fan, but I've been craving it like crazy these past few days).

- excited about: my tiny garden growing (still no produce but I have hope!). All the swim teachers coming back from vacation this week (whee!). A week with a lot of downtime, split between getting stuff done and relaxing.

- listening to: Jack Johnson. Herman's Hermits. The Beach Boys. Lots of GLAD.

- cooking: Italian sausage with kale and blistered tomatoes. Lots of green juice. Spring rolls (and spring roll salad, after the leftovers fell apart). Grilled sausages, zucchini, tomatoes, and Mexican corn (ohmagersh, so good). Bunless cheeseburger with avocado, kale/chard/spinach mix, and tomato (and coconut mayo - so amazing!).

More Sunday Afternoon Randomizer

I am...

... drinking: tons of seltzer water (I gave up sugar in my coffee last year, this summer I'd like to give up sodas, tea with sweetener, etc. Except for mojitos. I am NEVER giving up mojitos!). Lots of iced coffee (I should buy stock in Starbucks).

... eating: smoked salmon (I am OBSESSED). Eggs, cooked every which way. A (very) late night cheeseburger after a long night.

... watching: finished the Dick Van Dyke show (all five seasons). Started rewatching the old Wild Wild West show (kooky old scifi? YES PLEASE!). Went to see The Shallows with Allen - such a truly terrible shark movie but so. much. fun. I screamed every time the shark popped out of the water and laughed at myself a lot.

... enjoying: the new car, and being able to drive around with all the windows down (although I'm NOT so excited that the same window that they worked on to get it to pass inspection has quit working again. Nor that I have to get the oxygen sensors worked on). Getting to spend some time in the water helping out my instructors with tricky kids.

... thinking about: my Alabama family (I'm missing them terribly). Going to the beach in August, and how I really should make reservations before everything fills up like last year. All the little tasks I need to get done when I have some spare time. Next swim season, and what we should do differently (or continue doing). Tiny house rooflines. How big Zephyr is getting - I bought a harness for him at the pet store and it was TOO SMALL.

... (re) reading: Atlas Shrugged. Remembering how (for me) this is the ultimate novel,  the most beautiful thing ever written. I love Dagny and Francisco D'Anconio and Ellis Wyatt and Richard Halley.  And if I ever have a son, I am so naming him Rearden.

Sunday Afternoon Randomizer

I love Sunday afternoons when I don't have to work. (I don't mind working on Sundays,  exactly - some of my best times with the kids have happened on Sundays - but inevitably when I don't get those few hours on Sunday night to set up for the week ahead, I end up playing catch-up all week.) I've spent this weekend getting stuff done. I pulled out everything from storage underneath the trailer and either discarding or donating most of it. I got my little (very little!) garden of zucchini,  tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, and basil planted. (I'm so terrible at gardening. I want so badly to be good at it.) I replaced the faucet sink (with liberal help) after the original one broke. I did laundry and dishes and put them away. I ran a ton of errands. I went to the dump. I cleaned out and vacuumed the car. I cleaned the house.

I cleaned both boys cages and figured out a way to rig Zephyr's drip bowl with zip ties so he can't remove it. (Why he likes to detach it and sleep with it is BEYOND ME.)

Someone made me see red for a few moments this weekend when they called me "lazy" for not singing or playing the piano. I was furious for a moment because so many people who never mattered have tried in various ways to guilt me into doing what they think I should be doing. And then I thought about how little this person's opinion mattered, how unhappy his life looked, and how happy I was, and I let it go. Small victory.

I've been eating some amazing food lately. A birthday dinner at Charles Street Brasserie (pork kabobs, a smoked salmon platter, and seared tuna). Homemade shrimp tacos. Baby kale and swiss chard. A burrito. Snow crabs and salmon for Father's Day.  Soft - boiled eggs with smoked salmon, capers, and coconut mayonnaise. So. Much. Coffee.

Also,  I've been listening to Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged through Audible. I fully intended to listen to as much of it as I could for free and then cancel the subscription,  but I like it so much I might keep it. It's an interesting experience, listening instead of reading. I've reread Atlas Shrugged every summer but one since I first read it - which means that I've been reading it for about a decade.

I'm enjoying the new car. Not that I ever disliked it, I just had a hard time giving up my beautiful orange truck. But I am really enjoying having more room and doing lots of driving with the windows down.

Things, Lately

- Taking stress breaks by looking at pictures of fennec foxes and degus and hamsters and guinea pigs and mice and rats with clever paws and tiny whiskered faces. (I miss Zhiva and I think I'm ready for a new pet.)

- Also otters.

- Finally caving and buying a subscription to GoSwim and spending nearly every moment that the kids are sleeping watching Steve Haufler videos. I love Steve Haufler.

- Lesson plans. Writing so many lesson plans it's insane... Writing swim lesson plans for my Station 7's and my Station 9's and everyone in between - my two 7's who haven't swam in a year, my two 6's who are swimming with the 7's because I've run out of room for them in the regular program, my lone 8. wtiting lesson plans for the triplets - not just for next month, but also looking ahead to next year when we start homeschooling. And also trying to reconstruct the spring semester lesson plan for lit class. I'm losing my mind.

- Also: we hit a new enrollment high at swim. We saw it coming last month and it stressed me out to no end because I thought all the problems we've been having lately were growing pains and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Once I realized that very few issues were in fact related to our numbers, and I could solve (or at least tackle) the rest, I was much less stressed. And while I was off "tackling" we reached and passed our new goal and I didn't even notice til several days later.

- Making: pork chops in the crock pot; a frittata with zucchini, sausage, and orange pepper; portobello mushroom caps stuffed with leftover pork and parmesan cheese; steamed salmon with spinach and quinoa; fresh mango.

Saturday Randomizer

- I spent most of today resting or napping and I still feel completely exhausted. Granted, its been a week with a lot of stress and not a lot of sleep, but I've been around A LOT of sick people recently, and I'm pretty sure my body is fighting something off. :( Other than chanting "I'm not getting sick, I'm not getting sick" over and over again, I've been gargling with apple cider vinegar,  eating lots of greens and citrus fruits,  and mostly trying to sleep it off. Also Zicam (Zicam is my best friend). Hoping I'll be back to 100% by Monday!

- Everything is in flux right now. On all fronts. And I'm so not good at flux, you know? I'm not good at transitions and change and things being out of sorts. I'm a routine girl, a know-what-to-expect, have-a-plan girl. Granted, in the last few years I've recognized that change is inevitable, and gotten a (little) bit better at rolling with the punches, but rarely have so many different areas of my life been in flux at once and I'm struggling. Trying very hard to take joy and choose to be happy and take everything one day at a time, but it's not working particularly well. I'm really eager to get everything back to some sense of normalcy. Even if the new normal is different than what it was.

- I bought houseplants. Walmart had all succulents and houseplants 50% off, so for a few dollars I came home with three new ones. And while I (and everyone who knows me at all!) know that I will probably have killed (or at least severely maimed) them by summer, for now all the green is brightening my spirits considerably.  Also I'm looking forward to spring and starting seeds and tending plants. Even if they produce two green beans and then die. ;)

- I am making a conscious effort to speak softly to those who disagree with me. I'm practicing being kind, being quieter. Not because what I'm saying isn't important, but because important issues sometimes raise emotions, and I need to be better about offering others safety to disagree with me. Even if I think their opinions are horrific (maybe especially then, because in that case it's even more vital that I give my words their best chance at being heard).

- The triplets start swim on Monday, and I am SO EXCITED. Friday I brought them in for training, and they got to test out their new wetsuits and goggles. I'm looking forward to watching them grow and learn. :)

Another Randomizer

- Today was the last day I had off before going back to two jobs (and I resume job #3 next week, so life is about to kick back into normal!). I did not move as fast as I possibly could have, but man did I get a lot done! And in between I watched the second season of Broadchurch. And drank coffee. And now my house is much cleaner and organized and I'm excited. And I feel rested and ready to get back into the swing of things. So yay.

- Things I'm loving lately: leggings (still not wearing them out of the house but they make incredibly comfortable and WARM pajamas) and fuzzy socks; the new heater Mags and Cris got me for Christmas (it looks just like a woodstove and BLISS); opening up cabinets and storage compartments that I remembered being crammed with junk and discovering that I did a much better job of purging last year than I remembered.

- Here's a bit of news: as of this moment, I own 200 books. To put this in perspective, the summer before I moved into the trailer I owned over 1,000 books. I took 500 with me when I moved. I'm not neccesary on a mission to get rid of more (good books are one of those things I'm ok with giving space to) but 200 books fit so much better than 500. Also, I got rid of James Joyce's Ulysses. I am probably never going to adore James Joyce, and if I decide I want to read Ulysses,  I will get a Kindle copy or something, instead of a ten pound hardback with gold lettering and a stamped cover. Reality sets in at last.

- Speaking of Kindle: I'm reading "7" right now and it's excellent. An excellent book to be reading during the new year while you're cleaning/organizing/purging.

Randomizer

- I'm ready for Christmas to be over now, and I'm ready to start getting ready for the next thing. I'm feeling the itch to start organizing, cleaning, paring down... "taking stock" for a new year. I took a few days off next week, and I'm planning on trying to find a balance between getting things accomplished and resting (physically and mentally). Then I jump back into my regular schedule on all fronts again, which looks like it will continue to alternate between less busyish and just completely insane weeks. ;) I'll take it!

- So I took Abigail ice skating yesterday (Monday) and I have to admit that I wasn't sure if this was a good idea.  She's not always into new things, especially if they're things that she doesn't master right away, and we drove up in my truck and met everyone else because I honestly wasn't sure if she'd last very long. And after the first lap around the rink, she asked for a break, and I thought, oh, this is it. She's going to be done. So we sat on the bench and I casually mentioned how skating was a lot like swimming, it took a lot of new muscles and balance skills and took a bit of time to figure out - remember when you couldn't swim? Yup, lol, that seems funny now that you swim like a fish! - skating is like that. And after a minute she got back on the ice and we went around again. We stopped for breaks, sure (as much for me as for her - my wide barefoot loving feet cramp terribly in the narrow skates!) but after a minute or two she always wanted to go out again. By the end of the session she tried it on her own for about ten feet with me spotting her, and Maggie and I made a big fuss over how proud we were. :) And I was!

- ... You know what's coming, right? I miss "my" kids. I miss "my" coaches. Every time I've been stressed out in the last two weeks (which, you know, has kinda been often), I've itched to get back to "my" pool - my happy place. I'm anxious to get everything rolling again. I feel unmoored without my kids. :(
On the other hand - and this, this is HYSTERICAL - I've run into several swim team families since we've been on break (the lessons program, not the swim team) and every time - EVERY TIME! - they greet me, then get this incredibly guilty look on their face and mumble something along the lines of, "We haven't been to practice this week/we've been taking a break/there's so much to do during the holidays/etc." And I'm just like, dude, when did I become the principal? Lol. For one, I'm not part of the swim team staff (though probably,  since half the people on deck call me by my boss's name, they're confused about that, too), and I haven't been on deck since before Christmas,  so you're safe. And second - no, that's pretty much it. :) The best part of my job is being able to love on everybody while feeling absolutely no need to guilt them. ;)

- So I need to buy some dresses. I own two dresses, and one is scarcely more than a beach dress made just barely decent with a cardi and a scarf. And I have been everywhere looking, willing to spend money on them (after all, I only need a few good dresses to pull out for church and showers and weddings, and events of that kind), but I can't find anything I like. I can't remember ever having this much trouble when I was living with my parents and only allowed to wear dresses or skirts, so I'm thinking it's me that's changed? Which makes me wonder... is it that after three years of wearing jeans, dresses just feel strange? Or is it a deeper,  subconscious resistance to going back to that time of my life, where men/fundamentalist subculture/empty religious rules spent 90% of their energy telling me how to dress, what was permissible for me to do as a woman, and extolling the virtues of patriarchal submission? I honestly don't know, and I'm not sure how to deal. I love the look of a good dress, I love the way they look on other women,  I can remember dresses that have made me feel beautiful and empowered and happy. But I put them on and they feel wrong and I want them off. I fear the well has been poisoned for me. :(

- My mom got me an essential oils starter kit for Christmas after I (hesitantly) admitted that I wanted to learn to use them (I've resisted for a long time because it seemed like everyone who was into essential oils also felt that they were a "miracle cure" for everything, rendering modern medicine unnecessary, and I just don't buy that, but I've had good luck using some herbs and extracts in the last three years of health insurancelessness, and I would love to use them similarly - not in place of modern medicine, but as more of a wellness aid. Just had to throw that disclaimer out there!). I used the orange and lavender oils immediately on my new pillows and I've been enjoying them (although, ironically, I've been sleeping horribly ever since. Probably not related - I never sleep well during a full moon - but funny). I wore a little bit of peppermint oil one day when I was particularly exhausted (more on this later) and it also seemed to help. I'm really looking forward to buying a diffuser and using some lime oil, which is supposed to help with mental clarity - I can ALWAYS use more of that!

- And last but not least, I'm tired. I've shorted myself a little too much sleep for a little too long and now I'm just beat. At this point I'm sort of surviving from one nap to the next, bolstered in between by coffee and... no, pretty much just coffee. ;) Between the long weekend and my time off I have five days off in a row, and I still can only sleep in on one of those days. I'm thinking a lot of early nights are in order!

Loving Lately

- Getting a chance to teach my friend Cris how to swim (she's going to be good!).

- Starbucks Holiday Spice Flat White (oh my gosh. So amazing)

- The way the triplets have wholeheartedly and exuberantly embraced Christmas and get so excited whenever we do or see anything Christmas-related.

- Lucy's recent obsession with a capella groups (we're playing a whole lot of Straight No Chaser,  Pentatonix,  and GLAD).

- The way that all three kids sat spellbound through the entire Hallelujah Chorus last night when I played it for them for the first time.

- Impromptu Dr Who watching parties where everyone shows up in holiday pajamas and much popcorn is consumed (and spilled!).

- Driving home from work late at night and seeing all the holiday lights.

- Celebrating one of my coach's birthdays this week with treats that turned out pinterest-worthy.

- Getting to do a lot of hands - on coaching this week (always makes me happy!).

- Making plans for the new year, and all the exciting things it will hold. :)

Of Life Lately

- I'm getting REALLY excited about our trip to Floyd, VA next weekend. Our first trip was so much fun and way too short, and I'm looking forward to having more time and space this time. We're staying in a huge house we found on airbnb, and we each have our own bedroom, a huge kitchen, and 30+ acres of woods/trails to explore. I'm looking forwards to finding come new inspiration. (Not that I'm feeling uninspired, but I remember how energized I felt after our last trip.)

- Week 2 of our Whole30 is almost over. I've been eating lots of eggs (hardboiled, softboiled, over easy, scrambled, you name it), lots of fresh tomato sauce, tons of veggies. A lot of salmon. Not drinking enough water (need to work on that). Went to the grocery store hungry today and same home with "pepino melinos" (no clue), a dragonfruit, and a starfruit. also broccolini, watercress, and heirloom colorful tomatoes, which I must stop eating by the handful, or I won't have any left for the recipes I need them for this week!

- On the meal plan this week: chilled Asian shrimp salad, meatballs with paleo bbq sauce, baked chicken, steamed salmon, bolognese sauce, and a Mexican frittata. Still not sure whether I'll try to eat out in Floyd or pack meals, or both.

- I bought myself a new phone this afternoon! I'd been thinking I'd get a new one as a Christmas present to myself, and had decided to buy a Galaxy S3 (since that was the newest model within my price range). I casually went over to Walmart's website to see I'd their prices were comparable to my cell company, and they were having a sale on the S4, bringing it down to the same price as I'd been going to spend on the S3. I deliberated for a little bit, talk over specs with my dad, and decided it was too food a deal to pass up. :) It should hopefully arrive before our trip, and I can't wait to try it out!

- One of the things I'm most excited about is getting a waterproof case and being able to take it into the pool with me, since I've been baking a lot of video clips over the last few weeks. We got an instagram account set up for my coaches and I've been slowly filling it with example clips of our students. So far it's been well-received and I'm hoping this helps keep everyone on the same page!

- I've also been drinking coffee again, this time just black, no cashew milk or coconut cream. After having a few very unsatisfactory cups, I realized that it was the acidity of the lighter roasts that I didn't like, switched to darker, less acidic roasts,  and began enjoying my cuppa again! :) Today Maggie and I headed out to ft a cup of coffee and find a workplace with wifi (she to do homework, me to write lesson plans for my advanced class and watch swim videos). We originally headed for Starbucks so she could try the Hawaiian Ka'u I've been loving, but when re parking lot proved untenable, we diverted to a local shop and tries their Ethiopia blend, roasted on site. (It was excellent!)

Randomizer

- Finished week one of Whole30 today. In many ways it was way easier than last year (my first W30). I never did get crazy cravings (though I miss cheese :( ) and hit the "food as fuel" stage by about Thursday (whereas last year it wasn't until week 3 or 4). I did, however, get a terrible headache on Tuesday that lasted until Thursday, when it reached migraine pain levels. I went home from swim and crashed early in a completely dark house. On Friday it wasn't as bad but still definitely present, so I treated myself with chia seeds, black coffee, and a handful of ibibuprofen, and went to work. Not sure if it was any of the above or the fact that we took the triplets to the pool (and water always makes everything better!) but by afternoon it was gone and hasn't come back. I don't actually know that it was connected to the W30, but I'm suspicious.

- I worked most of the weekend, but after I got off work today I had visions of going to the bank, depositing my paychecks via the atm, then going grocery shopping and coming home to food prep for the week. Which is why I panicked a little when I got to the bank and realized that my debit card expired today. :/ Normally my bank sends me a new one automatically a month or two beforehand, so I hadn't given it a second thought. I scraped together all the cash I had on me or squirreled away for emergencies, and managed to get everything I needed for the next few days with pennies to spare. Tomorrow I get to deal with getting a replacement card. Yay.

- I did, however, get to spend a lovely evening at home, listening to The Big Broadcast while I cooked for the upcoming week (bolognese loaded with peppers and squash and spinach, hard-boiled eggs, tandoori chicken, shrimp and peppers, and a pot roast) and then did a quick cleaning spree. House looks great, I'm exhausted but happy, life is good. :)

- I'm really, really loving the weather this fall. I rolled the electric heaters back into storage after that one cold weekend. The heat kicks in a couple times each night, but I've had the windows open every day, it's perfect snuggle weather, and I'm enjoying every second. Looks like it should mostly hold steady for awhile, too. I'd be thrilled if it lasted til Thanksgiving!

- This morning my friend posted a recording of the church bells ringing in her home parish, and it made me smile and laugh out loud. Being alive is wonderful!

Life Lately

- For my own records: I pulled out the electric heaters Sunday night for the first time (overnight lows in the low 30's). If I didn't have pets, I'd have stuck it out with the electric blanket, since I got in late and left for work again early, but I felt bad letting it get chilly with the girls getting old. And they don't make jackets for rats - I've checked. (I'll probably break out the electric blanket this weekend.)

- New swimming idea this morning: teaching breaststroke kick, specifically the turned-out-toes, kick-with-the-inside-of-your-foot part, by having the swimmer kick a ball several times with the inside of their foot. I was trying to get this concept across to a student yesterday morning, and after several different approaches with limited success, he asked if it was "like kicking a soccer ball." YES. Yes, it is. (Why do the simplest teaching methods only seem to occur to me after much frustration?)

- I'm enjoying: the weather lately... except for yesterday (when I felt half-frozen most of the day) I'm loving sweaters and scarves and savoring the last few days of driving with the windows down in the truck. Good times. Also, my very clean truck (we'll see how long THAT lasts lol!).

- Listening to: Harry Connick Jr's "Red Light, Blue Light" album (so much fun!); Rachel Platten's "Fight Song" and "1000 Ships"; more Steve Haufler.

- Eating: the last of the batch of red beans and rice I froze several weeks ago with Cris and Mags (they liked it, so much so that Cris asked for the recipe to make at the station).

- Thinking about: getting a new phone. Anna needs a new one and wants to switch to my phone company since she uses her phone now so much more at school. I was going to upgrade anyway, so I'm going .to pass it on to her and probably get a Galaxy (which will most only be bigger in size, but have a better camera, which will be nice since I want to start taking example videos for my coaches).