Don't Let Me Miss The Moment

Today was beautiful.

It reached 70 degrees by eleven AM.

It was supposed to rain all day - and it DID rain, in the afternoon! - but this morning was beautiful.

Maggie and I went to lunch at our usual Monday-luncht Mexican restaurant, with Abigail chattering away the entire time, talking about everything under the sun. :) After lunch we walked down the sidewalk to the Jo-Ann Fabrics to buy orange buttons (!they make my heart happy!) and on the way we passed the window of the beauty school where a friend attends. We saw her in the window, thought about knocking on the window and waving, but didn't want to make fools of ourselves (or her, lol) so instead we texted her to see if she wanted to go get coffee at the cafe next door on her break.

While we were waiting for a response, Anna called - she was close by, driving home from a doctor's appointment - so we invited her to join us.

And that was how all four of us, plus my beloved baby girl, came to be sitting outside on the sidewalk of the cafe, all of us drinking our beverage of choice (a raspberry truffle latte, a brownie smoothie, and - for me - the very best iced sugar-free caramel latte I have ever had in my life. Seriously. And a cake ball for Abby) soaking up the warmth and the beauty and the incredible sweetness of a two-and-a-half-year-old face covered in white chocolate and sprinkles, and the fellowship of each other's company

It was a beautiful moment, and in the middle of it I sat back and realized it was beautiful. I'm not good at recognizing beautiful moments while they're happening - I often look back and think wistfully to myself, "That was a good moment. I wish I had taken a little more time to just enjoy it."

After our little coffee klatch, Abby and I dropped Maggie off at her occupational therapist's, and went back to the house. On the way, Abby turned to me and said very plaintively, "I want a nap!" Wish granted! We arrived home just as it started to rain, and I tucked her into her crib, cozy with her penguin blanket, her stuffed tigger, and her beloved "el'phant". We blew kisses to each other and she made Tigger blow kisses, too. :) As I whispered, "I love you! Have a good nap!" and tiptoed out of the room, she rolled over and fell asleep instantly and was still sleeping when I left, lulled to sleep by gentle raindrops on the roof.

As she napped, I finally got the sidebar button - the one I have been playing with for awhile, but couldn't make work - to work. Perfectly.

Chris came home fifteen minutes early, so I got to come home before Yoga class, sit on my bed for twenty minutes in an absolutely peaceful house, and eat apple slices dunked into caramel-flavored organic greek yogurt.

Did I mention that only good food - healthy food, yummy food, nourishing food - has passed through my lips today?

Then I went off to class, where I did many things I couldn't do two months ago. I have muscles now that I didn't have two months ago, a confidence in my body's capability, a confidence that lets me explore that capability and find the boundaries. I did two new poses tonight that I haven't done before!

I came home, enjoyed a cup of perfectly-brewed chamomile tea. I can almost feel the hot bath I'm about to run for myself, and I'm anticipating the smooth coolness of my mattress.

I'll tell you a secret - today did not start off looking so great. I couldn't sleep last night - I know because I kept checking my alarm clock, desperately wishing I could slow time down so I could get some sleep before the week began. It never happened. After hours of "resting" (but not sleeping) I got up, posted this status to my Facebook page: "It's so much nicer when you begin the day by waking up, not just getting up!"

But somewhere along my morning drive to work, I decided to just live in being tired for today. So often I spend so much time trying to get out of whatever undesirable position I'm in, I forget that there's always the option to tough it out, live through it, and wait for it to pass. I didn't get a nap today - turns out I didn't need one, but if I'd been focused on "fixing" today I would have fretted about my lack of sleep all day.

Even the less-than great days remind you of what's important. I bought the first energy drink I've drunk in at least six months today. I literally stopped dead in front of the cooler when it suddenly struck me that I lived on those things, often multiple cans of them, a year and two months ago. I remember the hopeless despair I would feel because it was literally impossible, working my shifts and living in this house, to get the sleep I needed to feel sort of alive the next day. Day after day afterdayafterday... A missed night of sleep is nothing. Life is great!

I hope I get some sleep tonight (I think I probably will). But even if I don't, I know that my capacity to run with little or no sleep is great. That they manufacture Red Bull and Rockstar and, if all else fails, coffee, for the days when you need a little extra "oomph." And that beautiful moments sometimes happen on inoportune days - you can let them slip through your fingers... or you can grab them. Savor them. Laugh - and let the rest go. :)