Absolute Craziness

I am convinced that half the people in the world are idiots. I mean, seriously - there are signs of it everywhere! For instance -

I got an email recently from one of my favorite retailers (I ALWAYS sign up for emails from places I shop... they almost always send you a coupon or special deal as an introductory treat, and this summer I got a coupon for $10 off any purchase of $10 or more as a birthday treat. And if worst comes to worst, and all they send you is sale announcements or new product info, well, you can always press the unsubscribe or spam button). The heading caught my eye, so I opened it to see the following advertisement: "Absolutely EVERYTHING is 40% off!*"

I scrolled down to the bottom to see what that little star could possible be, since, I mean, "absolutely everything" seems pretty self-explanatory. Everything is 40% off! Absolutely EVERYTHING!

So imagine my... bewilderment? chagrin?... when I read this: "40% off does not apply to Product X, Product Y, or Product Z."

Well, then, absolutely everything is NOT 40% off, then, is it? Is this so hard to figure out, people? Sheesh.

Another example - I'm on the waiting list for a class at my college. A waiting list means, obviously, that the class is full, but we're on standby in case someone drops out last minute. It means we WANT to take the class - in my case, badly! - but we're still holding out breath and crossing our fingers and praying.

So imagine my surprise when I get an email from the college today (school starts next Tuesday) telling us to "Please make your final course selections and register for classes you wish to attend, as we would like to form class rosters."

Well, DUH, if we COULD register for class, we would, wouldn't we? It's not like we're sitting on the fence, registered for classes but not paid up yet (which used to happen all the time before they updated the system - students would register for way more credits than they wanted to take, since they didn't have to be paid up til a week after class started, then go to the first days and drop whichever classes they didn't like most). I would LOVE to register and hand them the money in full, if I could get a spot. That's why I went through the trouble of putting myself on the waiting list!

This is also the college that advertised walk-in student counseling/advising sessions all afternoons for new students (you have to meet with an advisor before you can declare your major, sign up for certain classes, etc). I hadn't met with an advisor yet, but I needed to, so I stopped in one day to make an appointment (I had a tight schedule with work and school so I needed to know that an advisor would be available when I had time). I had been taking classes for a couple of semesters already, knew exactly what I wanted to do, etc. When I told the receptionist this, she told me the first appointment she could get me was in December (this is early September). I asked her why, and she said they only had a certain amount of appointments each day and they were filled till December. "But," she added, "Come back this afternoon. We're required to keep our schedules clear for new student walk-ins, BUT NOBODY EVER COMES IN because new students are required to come in and meet with an advisor the week before classes start."

I don't know, folks. Maybe it's just me.