So, today was the first day of my class. I was still on the waitlist but I had permission to come sit in, and I'm so glad I did because at the end of class my professor pulled me aside and said to keep checking the waitlist, but if nothing opens up he'll fix it with the registrar's office. Whoohoo!
So in all the drama of trying to get myself a place in this class, I forgot how intense it's supposed to be - and it looks like it deserves the reputation! There were no tears today but definitely some quavering voices as we started sharing some of the things we'd like to work on in the next sixteen weeks. I didn't do any sharing since I wasn't sure yet if I'd get to stick around, but I can tell this will be a great atmosphere, and a lot of good stuff is going to happen.
Some stories/issues that were shared (and parental warning, some tough stuff ahead):
One woman was a volunteer rescue worker at the time of 9/11. She was attached to one of the units from our county who was sent up to help with the situation, and she still wakes up from nightmares in a cold sweat over the things she saw.
The girl sitting next to me shared that she'd like to repair relationships with both her dad and best friend. Then she proceded to tell us her father had just been incarcerated after her best friend turned him in for sexually molesting her. She doesn't know whether to believe it or not and wants to support her dad and her best friend.
Lots of folks who feel like their relationship with their mom is a negative force (hmm, that sounds familiar!) and are looking to be "less affected by her words," "able to share without judgement/criticism," and the ever elusive "better relationship with."
We have a lady who was raped at a young age and can't tolerate physical touch of any kind.
There were also a lot of folks who are just sensing that they could be "more" if they could get some direction and guidance. The professor threw out a lot of examples of areas that have been/could be changed through this class.
Our homework for this week is to formulate a list of 10 things that we'd like to work on this semester and prioritize them. The list can (and, he said, probably WILL) change throughout the semester. We'll spend time in class learning theories of behavior/personality adjustment and sharing sucesses and failures in our respective journeys. After this week, we're required to journal four times a week (a minimum of 1.5 pages each entry) in a notebook, which we'll turn in to our professor several times throughout the semester. Nobody will read it but he, and he'll make suggestions and feedback. He'll also be mentoring us face-to-face throughout the semester.
So, after work, I'm off to buy a three-ring binder/journal and some tissues for my schoolbag. :) Also, note to self - DON'T WEAR MASCARA ON TUESDAYS!!!
I expect that some parts of this class will spill over into my blog... I expect that it will have the same quality of the class: some will be shared with the whole class, and some of it is going to stay tucked into my journal for the professor's eyes only. He's been very generous about letting us sort of draw our own boundaries as to what we'd like to share and what we'd like to work through more or less privately with him. I will say that some of the changes I'm contemplating have me nervous - even just contemplating them! But I also think that I'm really ready to keep changing and growing into a new and better person. :)
Abigail's first Mom's Day Out is tomorrow... I'm sure she will be fine but I'm equally sure I'll be a wreck. :( Pray for me!